I have been devouring parenting books recently, especially those that focus of motherhood; mainly because with another babe on the way I am already feeling inadequate and overwhelmed when I think about what life will be like with a toddler and a newborn. I know these fears and feelings are normal, and I always feel better after spending some time reading stories and experiences of other like-minded mamas. One of the books I have found to be a true encouragement is 'The Mission of Motherhood' by Sally Clarkson. She does a fabulous job of using scipture and biblical principles to paint a picture of what it means to be a mom with intentionality. Perhaps that is one of my biggest fears in parenting- just going through the motions and missing out on the hidden moments of fun and meaning that can only be found when they are truly sought. All that to say- I am really motivated now to create special moments, traditions and conversations with Reese; and I am also reminiscing on all the ways my own mom and dad helped foster such a wonderful childhood for me.
I remember my mom frequently knocking on my often-closed bedroom door in high school, and then making herself comfortable on my bed so we could chat. At the time I was oblivious to what she was doing- I guess I just figured she was bored- ha! Now I see that she was seeking to keep the 'lines of communication' open with me during those hard teenage years. And it wasn't just every now and then- multiple times a week! There was just something different about being in the safety of my room, in a cozy place that helped me let my walls down and feel loved. We certainly had plenty of talks in the car, over dinner, etc... But looking back I can appreciate just how persistent she was when she specifically pursued me in this special way! Another relaxing tradition that she built with all of my sisters and I that we still continue is that of giving 'tickles' (like a backrub but just soft). During these 'sessions' it seems any and every topic would be discussed (until someone fell asleep!)
My father has done a fabulous job of showing me through his actions his love for me. When we lived in Dallas a few years ago I was needing motivation to get back in shape and decided to run a 5k. I knew my dad was in shape and was so thrilled when he agreed to train with me and run in 2 different races together that year. 2 more recent examples come to mind as well. When Dillon and I were planning our move across the country with a newborn a couple of years ago, my dad was quick to let us know that he wanted to drive one of our cars from Texas to South Dakota so that Reese and I wouldn't have to (we were able to fly instead!). Secondly, this year he has come and stayed with us to complete the building of a swingset and then to help Dillon build a new deck on our house (a several day project!). I still can't believe the time and work he put in, and you can bet I feel loved because of it!
There are so many other special ways I felt loved growing up! Traveling across the country together for family vacations in the car, shared meals most every dinner, birthday celebrations, my parents praying by my bed every evening as a child, after church lunches out to eat (usually Mexican food!), Christmas traditions (tree decorating, annual Ornament shopping, opening one present on Xmas Eve, looking at lights), camping trips, Friday pizza & a movie nights- this list could go on and on!
I see these gestures so clearly now that I am a mom- as not just accidental happenings but as calculated ways that my parents sought to show me their love for my sisters and I by establishing a safe and fun environment for us to grow up in. I can appreciate that most of these tasks involved sacrifice and servanthood- two practices I am learning more about as Reese grows up and Lee grows inside me!
Now, I am motivated to show my own daughter and son how much I love them (an impossible task!), and while daunting, it is fun to brainstorm and dream of all the memories we will make together over the years in doing so. I am learning that God's design for motherhood must be motivated by His standards, His love for us. His calling in my life to parent these children is a supreme honor!
